Fat

Fat jokes

Weight

  • My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.

    Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?

    Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.

  • 4
  • Mom

  • Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?

    Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.

    Mama

  • Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!

    Mama

  • Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

    Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.

    Mama

  • Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.

  • 0
  • Cake

  • What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?

    Fat, you get fat.

    What? Were you expecting a pi joke?

  • 3
  • Kit Kat

  • So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"

  • 0
  • Yo mama

  • Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"

  • 0
  • Diarrhea

  • What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.

    What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.

  • 1