Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
Fat People Jokes
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
You shouldn’t bully fat people.
They already have enough on their plate.
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
Why did the wheel fall?
Because there were too many fat people on it.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
Fat girls give the best head because they are hungry and eat the most dick.
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
