My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!
I wish I had emo nails,
So they could cut themselves.
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suasied Squid.
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the WHOLE SPECIES will become extinct!
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
What do you call a clock on a belt?
A waist of time.
A man with a mullet walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "The party's in the back!"
What are a pedophile"s shoes called?
Answer: WHITE VANS
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
Wears pink.
When I wear all black, I'm not emo. I'm a rainbow, 'cause I'm wearing all the colors. #Science
