Fashion jokes
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
Why is it poetic when they have plenty of those German sandals in the store? Because they're Birkenstock.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
How did the hipster drown? He ice-skated before it was cool.
What does a house wear?
A dress.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?
Carats.
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics. They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.