Where do you get milk from? The Milky Way, of course!
What do you call a gay cow? A gay cow.
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
What did the cow tell an Indian?
Moo!
How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's door.
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken.
