Farm jokes
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's door.
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to? Roosters don't lay eggs.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.