Farm jokes
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.
Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.
And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...
A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"
Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?
A: Home to see their mama!
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
What do you call a male cow that snores?
A “Bull Dozer”.
What what's the cloud private place to go? Among us, cows.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
Q: Ten shepherds out in the sheep field. How do you know which one's gay?
A: He's the one the sheep fuck!
(I'm gay, and I know this joke is demeaning and inappropriate, but I still think it's funny as a 2-inch penis.)
What did the swearing hen say?
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" (It's cluck.)
What did the cussing rooster say?
"Cock-a-doodle-doo, phew!"
They're blooming a gay chicken.