Farm jokes
Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?
A: Home to see their mama!
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
What do you call a male cow that snores?
A “Bull Dozer”.
What what's the cloud private place to go? Among us, cows.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
Q: Ten shepherds out in the sheep field. How do you know which one's gay?
A: He's the one the sheep fuck!
(I'm gay, and I know this joke is demeaning and inappropriate, but I still think it's funny as a 2-inch penis.)
What did the swearing hen say?
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" (It's cluck.)
What did the cussing rooster say?
"Cock-a-doodle-doo, phew!"
They're blooming a gay chicken.
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Who disliked the rooster joke, come out now!
What did the rooster say to the hen? Goodbye.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".