We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Farm Jokes
A chicken is delicious.
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Chicken
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
The chicken is so fat.
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
What do you cross with a cow and a tiger? (mooigter)
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I don't know, go google it.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your fat ass mom.
What kind of cow has 2 legs?
YOUR MOM!!
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
