Family jokes
Why didn't the wife want sex?
Because they were having too many babies.
Son: Mom, can I get $100 for a week?
Mom: Why do you need $100 for a week?
Son: I'm going on a date, and I need $100 for a week, please.
Mom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on your date now. You got $1, so go.
Son: And you got $0.00.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
So my sis thinks she's so smart. She said, "You can finish this move ten minutes later. Go to sleep."
Son: I love you, Dad.
Dad gets in car and drives away.
My dad is a pussy.
My brother puts his butt in his face and says, "Kyle, you're cracking me up!"
If you're ever bored, adopt an orphan. What is he going to do, be kissed by Vedanta?
What did Allan say to his sister bully when she stepped on his toe? "Mitosis!"
Hungry: Dad, I'm hungry.
Dad: Hi, Hungry, I'm Dad.
Hungry: Why did you name me like this? :/
Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."
You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.
Why can't an orphan be a bully? Because they don't have parents.
Stop making the jokes!
Why can’t orphans f*ck their mom?
Because they don’t have one.
I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"
Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.
Why can't orphans play soccer?
They can't kick.
Your mom is so fat, she can't make it through the door.
My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.