Family jokes
Girl: Can we visit Grandma this weekend?
Mother: Sure.
Five-year-old: Look mommy! Two people and they're wearing rope necklaces!
Why can’t orphans be a space ship? Because they don’t have a mothership!
Me when I find my sister's diary: oooooo!
My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!
Especially in bed...
How do you know your baby is dead?
It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.
When a lady gets married, what does she borrow?
She borrows her husband's last name.
Mum is the best!
A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."
Who said that?
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
Hi, Dad.
My dad died lol.
Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!
Son: Hey, Dad, why is my name Dick?
Dad: Oh, because a dick fell on you when you were born.
Son: Ohhhhh, so that's why I'm gay.
Ur mom gei.
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
Dad: Johnny! Johnny!
Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Dad: Did you hit your brother?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Telling lies?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Let me see your fist.
Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!
Dad: What is so funny?
Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!
Dad: >:(
Little Johnny: What? It's true!
Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!
Dad: Love you too, son.
Your mum lolololollollollololollolololllol! Find her reboot card lmfao lolololol.
My Dad went for some milk. He never came back :)
I sucked your mom's anus.
Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.