Family jokes
Superman has been called to a huge house fire.
Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"
Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"
Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
Ya mum!
Your mom is gay, just like your dad.
I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?
Your mum!
MY BABYS
Ur dad is mad.
My grandpa died to ligma :(
LIGMA BALLS!
I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.
My sister said to me "I love him long time."
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
What show has something orphans will never have?
American Dad!
What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?
"Two wongs don’t make a white."
What kind of work from school can't orphans do?
Homework!
Why are orphans not that good at baseball?
They can never hit a homerun.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
"UwU my balls says mommy."
"Wait, what?" says Jonny. "That's not my mommy!"
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?
Surrounded by loved ones.
What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang came back.
What does an orphan say a lot? "Where is my house?"
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.