Family jokes
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?
He has no home to hit to.
My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
Why do orphans love tornadoes? Because they always pick you up!
Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.
You are family.
My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? There is no home plate.
Top five places to find your dad's orphans is Milk Island.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Beans, your mum is fat!
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.