Family jokes
Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?
Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.
He was fired from his job.
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
To be wanted.
What does an orphan say a lot? "Where is my house?"
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
Why do orphans like baseball so they can know what a real home is?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
Why'd my grandpa fall over?
'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!