Family jokes
Ur dad is mad.
I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.
My sister said to me "I love him long time."
My grandpa died to ligma :(
LIGMA BALLS!
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?
Surrounded by loved ones.
My uncle <3
What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang came back.
What show has something orphans will never have?
American Dad!
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
What kind of work from school can't orphans do?
Homework!
Why are orphans not that good at baseball?
They can never hit a homerun.
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They ain't got no home to run to.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.
Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sister.
Sister who?
My sister's ass.
Why is something orphans can never say?
"Let's go home."
What do you call your kids?
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.