Family jokes

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't run home.

My sister is so dumb, she genuinely spent lockdown studying for a COVID test.

Why did the orphan kill himself?

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

Your mom.

Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!

Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.

Orphans: Going 180.

Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.

Kid: So what? At least they love me more.

Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!

How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?

Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.

Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?

'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.

Kid: Knock knock!

Orphan: Who's there?

Kid: Not your parents XD

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They can't see their parents.

Why do orphans never use other people's Wi-Fi?

So they can be connected.

My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.

Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.

Why can't orphans have a computer?

They don't have a home page.

Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?

Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.

Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.

I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.

L

It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.

My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"

I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."