Family jokes
I tried to make a website for orphans.
Sadly, I couldn't make a home page.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!
I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the orphan fail in baseball?
He couldn't find home.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?
Because it has no home button.
What is a redneck virgin?
A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers.
One day, this dad and his son went to a basketball factory, and the son said, "I want to buy some balls." The dad said, "What for?" The son said, "So you can have some balls."
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
* * *
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
Max Alexander Heart is adopted.
What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?
The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)
The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)
Thanks for reading this...bye!
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”