Family jokes
If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
What food has an orphan made?
Homemade food.
Why do orphans go to public schools?
Who's going to homeschool them?
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
There was a house with a three-story building.
The first one had Mexicans.
The second one had Africans.
The third one had white people.
An earthquake came.
But who did survive?
The white family because they were at work.
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
Maybe we should stop talking about orphans, their parents will get ma... oh wait.
Q: What do you call an elephant that isn't important?
A: My sister.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
Why do orphans go to church?
So at least they will have someone to call father.