What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."
Teacher: I was an orphan once.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
Roses are red, I have a blister, holy shit did you just cum in your sister?
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
