Family jokes
Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they don't have homes to run to.
Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.
Orphan: Mine are never.
Why were the students jealous of the orphan?
He never had any homework!
(I'm going to hell for this)
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because they have no parents to watch them!
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”
Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Stop the orphan jokes!
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
Your mom is a joke.
Why can't orphans complete homework?
Because they have no home!
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.
As I was eating this girl out, I thought I tasted some horse semen... I exclaimed, "Oh, Grandma! That's how you died!"
I was playing baseball with orphans, but when they hit a homerun, they had nowhere to go.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...