Family jokes

Orphans smell like Grandma cunt.

What's between a wife and a husband?

A divorce.

Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?

To see his closest relatives.

My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

Why do orphans become criminals?

To feel what it is like to be wanted.

Monster: “I will devour your family.”

Orphan: “Oh.”

Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.

What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?

One gets picked.

Orphans are stupid, am I right? Hehehehehehehehehehehe.

Why can't orphans sign up for sports?

They have to have a parent's signature.

Your mom dot com.

Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

Family are together playing charades.

Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!

Why don't orphans go skydiving?

Because they don't have the "Morley."

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

Your hairline is so far back, just like your dad is from you.