Family jokes
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
I didn't put my kids up for adoption.
My mom
Your mom dot com.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?
A: Because they don't have any parents.
Mom!
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.
Why do orphans go on holiday?
To see what family is like.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."