Family jokes
Yo mama is so hairy, when you were born, you got carpet burns!
"Poo heads."
What is an orphan's favorite event?
Homecoming.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because they have no parents to watch them!
Why do orphans play with Barbies?
So they can have a home :)
Memes
Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.
Yo mama looks like the dinosaur from Lilo & Stitch.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
Yo momma so fat!
Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?
A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.
How do you make a child’s parents happy?
Put the child to sleep.
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
Hey guys, I'm back. I was grounded by my grandfather, so, yeah.
Orphan: Help, I'm lost.
Someone: Wears your parents.
Orphan: >:(
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents can't watch them!
Dad: Where is my son?
Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.
Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?
Son: YES!
Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
Because they can't press the home button.