Family jokes
Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.
Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
I once told an orphan his dad is Spider-Man because he is far from home.
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
Children are like farts.
You can only tolerate your own.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.
I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"
And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"
And I said: "Your parents."
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home. 🤣🤣🤣
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife replies, “Change the damn diaper, you idiot.”
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?
Nothing, he doesn't have any.