Family jokes
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know home base.
What do orphans get when they go to a bank alone?
The joke I'm telling is my brother, Joey.
Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
Orphans don't like "Family Feud."
What does an apple and an orphan have in common?
One gets picked.
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
What does water see in orphans that they don't? Their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home base is.
Why can’t orphans eat breakfast? Because there is no parent to feed them.
I found your parent!
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.
What's the difference between me and an orphan?
At least my dad came back.
Me: What do you call an orphan?
Friend: Homeless.
Your momma is so ugly, the director thought she was a real zombie.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked!