Family

Family jokes

Rope

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

Dad

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

Orphan

Why can't orphans have a home button on their phone?

Because they don't have homes.

Orphan

Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.

Orphan: Go on then.

Me: Your family tree.

Girlfriend

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

Memes

Orphan

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

Orphan

Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?

They don't have parents to protect them.

Orphan

Me: Where's your mom?

Kid: [cries]

Me: [leaving from the adoption center]

Orphan

If you're bored, just punch an orphan. It's not like they can tell their parents.

Wish

Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.

The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.

Mother

Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.