Family jokes
You look like your mom and your dad had a child.
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.
What do orphans and apples not have in common... The apples get picked up.
Why can't orphanages play baseball?
Because there's no home to go to.
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because I can’t hit a home run. 💀💀💀
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.
Orphan: Can I come over?
Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!