Family jokes
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Only one of them gets picked...
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."
The F in orphan stands for family... oh wait.
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?
Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.
Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?
Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.
Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
Yo mama so fat, Dora can't explore her.
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
My balls when I see Tazzaro: boioioioioioing.
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!