Family jokes
Let's see what the orphans are gonna tell their parents about this: "Hey you buttheads, you stink!"
Looks like they didn't tell their parents.
Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite porn site?
A: Motherless.
My face when my mom said we could go to McDonalds
Yo mama's so—oh wait, you don't have one.
I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.
Your family is so messed up that they shared one brain cell to have you even exist.
What's the number one thing in an orphan's search history?
"How to find a family."
I think I was a little too harsh on Jason.
Anybody who was conceived in the back of a pickup truck during a family reunion is bound to have a few issues.
One woman said to the other, "This child is truly cruel!"
The second woman replied, "Did I say 'child'?"
The first woman said, "I beg your pardon; I didn't know you were my father!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They won't be able to find home.
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
The parents remember 9/11.
My sister looks like Santa Claus.
"You are so pretty?"
"No, too many people!"
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
What is the difference between a grandmother and a maid?
One is hope and the other is soap.
What do atoms and parents have in common to orphans? You can't see either of them.
What is the favorite movie of orphans?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.