Family jokes

The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.

The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.

🤣🤣🤣

Yo mama so ugly, we all are trying to help her look better.

Read my name.

Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!

My mom picked my major.

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.

Why was the rapper always late?

Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.

What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

Why do orphans like cows?

Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.

Little off topic but...

Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.

Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.

Mum: Fair point.

What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?

Hug his parents.

Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.

Where can't orphans park?

Parent child.

Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.

What do you call 3 orphan girls in a tornado?

All of her twist.