Family jokes
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
A self-raising flower.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they won't know where home plate is.
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because I can’t hit a home run. 💀💀💀
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
Yo mama so ugly, we all are trying to help her look better.
Read my name.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.
Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.
What do orphans and apples not have in common... The apples get picked up.
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.