Family

Family jokes

Alcohol

    • Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."

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    • Family memes

    Sex

    • Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.

    Dad: Would you like to talk about it?

    Son: Sure.

    Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.

    Son: I can't, my butt hurts.

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    • Orphan

    • So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"

    Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"

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    • Plane

    • I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

    And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

    Orphan

    • I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.

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    • Dementia

    • Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

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    • Shovel

    • My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe. I said, "Why do I need this?" She said, "That you every year."

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