Family jokes
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can't get home.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because no one came back with any.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good. He died during 9/11.
Wanna know what an orphan's least favorite song is?
"More Than My Hometown."
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
Cotton gets picked.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
Answer: The family tree!
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
What flour do you buy an orphan?
Self-raising flour.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
Because they want to be wanted.
I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.
Your mom.
Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"
What do you say when you sister's annoying you?
Go oasis (go away sis)!
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.