Family

Family jokes

Batman

Batman: I’m vengeance.

Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.

Batman: ...

Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.

Orphan

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

Birthday Party

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.

Memes

Stork

A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"

Dad said, "It is, Son."

Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"

Orphan

Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?

Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.

Orphan

What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?

Milk, because no one came back with any.

Orphan

How do orphans have names because they don't have anyone to give them names?

Reaction

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Orphan

Why do orphans hate plane rides?

Because there’s no home to come back to.

Orphan

Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?

Because his parents wouldn't let him.

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple always gets picked!

Orphan

Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.

Orphan

What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?

At least the mistake was loved.