Family jokes
What is an orphan's first phone?
An iPhone 12. Wanna know why?
It has no home button :D
Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
Why did the orphan play baseball?
To find home base.
When an orphan takes a picture, it’s a family portrait.
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why can't the orphan go on a field trip?
Because he can't sign the parent's signature.
Kid: Dad, where do you work?
Dad: I.C.U.P.
Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.
What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
You want to hear a joke?
Your mom.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don’t know where home is.
My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.
How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.
FEW!!!!!!!
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
Never got a mother's love, lol.