Family jokes
Yo mama so nice she...
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
What did the mom say to her house? "I love you"
They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!
They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!
When your mum tells you to help your granny.
And you unplug life support!
Memes
No Words
Your family in a nutshell.
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh for god's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
"Doin' doin' your mom, doin' doin' your mom."
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
Why do some kids have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.
Q: What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
A: An orphan.