Family jokes
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.
Why did the orphan go outside the school?
Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
din mamma
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?
A sissy.
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
I love orphans. They're precious.
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em!
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
At 6, she wanted a happy mama.
At 8, she hated acting like a mom.
At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.
At 11, she wanted to see her mom.
When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?