Family jokes

Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.

Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!

Why do I f*** my mom?

Like father like son. #batabababa

I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.

At 6, she wanted a happy mama.

At 8, she hated acting like a mom.

At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.

At 11, she wanted to see her mom.

My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.

Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

David: I will surpass Kakarot!

Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.

Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.

Why do orphans go to church so they can call someone "father?"

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.

If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂

Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?

A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?

Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.