Family jokes
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
A father of a young girl comes to meet the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried!
Why can orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
Your mom is a slow comedian. It took her 9 months to make a good joke.
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.
Onions was a good dog.
Me: I asked an orphan where his parents were. I also said that I promised to take him to them.
Orphan: They're dead.
Me: A promise made is a promise kept.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because no one loves them.
One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
Why can orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home plate.