Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
Family Jokes
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
Where can't orphans park?
Parent child.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.
Laugh now.
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because I can’t hit a home run. 💀💀💀
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
Say, "Moommy."
Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?
Hug his parents.
