Family jokes
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
What is an orphan's first phone?
An iPhone 12. Wanna know why?
It has no home button :D
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father!"
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Their dad never came with it.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home. 🤣🤣🤣
Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.
My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
What did mum say when grandpa called?
Boomerang.
Why do orphans like fucking other dads?
Because they get to have a daddy.
An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
Why can't an orphan have a phone?
Because they will see a home.
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.