Family jokes
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't have a home plate.
What kind of flower do orphans use? Self-raising.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
Orphans smell like Grandma cunt.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
My uncle <3
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Why do orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
What show has something orphans will never have?
American Dad!
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.
Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Tennis because it's the only love they'll get.
What do you call an orphan?
Homeless.
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.
"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.