Family jokes
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they miss Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
I like chips.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
"Daddy's Home."
Once I said to an orphan, "What the 'F' means in 'orphan'?"
He replied, "There's no 'F'."
Me: "There's no family."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't reach home.
My dad died in 9/11.
He was a good pilot.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.
Why do orphans like the iPhone 12 Pro?
Because there is no home button.
You're adopted.
Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?
So he could be in a lovely family before death.
Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?
Myla: I went to a restaurant.
Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?
Timmy: I went to a concert.
Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?
Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.
Why do orphans play GTA? They finally wanted a family.
According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because at least they can be wanted!
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
What is an orphan's first phone?
An iPhone 12. Wanna know why?
It has no home button :D