Family jokes

What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?

Parents' evening.

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?

"I am your father!"

What is an orphan's first phone?

An iPhone 12. Wanna know why?

It has no home button :D

Why do orphans love church?

They finally have a father.

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

What’s the bravest thing a man can do?

Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.

Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?

Their dad never came with it.

Why don't orphans play baseball?

Because they can never find home. 🤣🤣🤣

What does Sonic say when he's bored?

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.

I can smell your kids!

An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"

Why can't the orphan go on a field trip?

Because he can't sign the parent's signature.

Kid: Dad, where do you work?

Dad: I.C.U.P.

Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.

I love orphans. They're precious.

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.

Why did the orphan go outside the school?

Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.

Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.