Family jokes
Your mom.
Your dad!
Why can't orphans be kidnapped?
Because most kidnappers use a family van.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can never find home.
Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy"/"mommy."
Memes
My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.
Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter.
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?
One is wanted and one's not.
Why can't the orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Yo mama so fat, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?
Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.
Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Timmy: *starts crying*
Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.