Family jokes
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans love table tennis? Because that is the only love they're getting.
"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.
Why does an orphan play mum and dad?
'Cause they need self-love.
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
I never knew what my dad's job was.
One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"
My dad answered...
Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!