Family jokes

My stepsister is a big titty goth. Should I tap that?

Dear Orphans,

I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)

Why do orphans want to die?

Because they might see their parents in Heaven.

My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.

Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.

Everyone at the barbecue...

Why do orphans can't play baseball? They don't know where home is.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.

Why did the orphan go to church?

To finally call someone father. 😂😂

I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD

If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!

If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"

What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?

Nothing, they both stain.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.

Why do orphans love table tennis? Because that is the only love they're getting.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.

Mom: Son, get up for school.

Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!

Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?

Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.

Son: I hate you!