Family jokes

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not."

"Not who?"

"Not your dad."

You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.

Why do orphans play GTA?

To make them feel wanted.

You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

Yo' mama is a joke.

Why can't an orphan have sex?

Because they can't call them "daddy."

My wife left me and took the kids.

My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺

What do Orphans say on Father's Day?

Well, not "Happy Father's Day."

How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.

I made a website for orphans, but there's no homepage.

My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.

When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,

I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.

Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.

Aaron: Why?

Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.

I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...

But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:

While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”