Family jokes
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan.
What are they gonna tell their parents?
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang. Unlike its parents, it comes back.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.
Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.
Memes
I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"
Mom replied with, "That's your father."
Why did the orphan misbehave in school?
Because the principal couldn't call their parents.
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them.
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?
They don't have parent permission.
Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.
Your mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family.
Your mom's a whore, and so are you!
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.