Family jokes
Your family.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?
"Full House".
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
*guitar solo*
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
me when my mom wakes me up!
Father's Day is a dad joke.
What's a name orphans hate to be called?
"Homie."
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?
Because it has no home button.
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
I asked an orphan where his parents were. Then I remembered, they're gone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents :) so kawaii fr.
So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Answer: Because they never knew what love was.