Family jokes
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
Memes
I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.
Why can’t an orphan make a joke?
Dad jokes.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Do you love me?
No, Papa.
#### you!
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
Your mom and your dad.
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they don't have a dad or mom.
Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."