Family

Family jokes

Chicken Wing

I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...

"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."

Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)

Orphan

I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.

Family Tree

Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?

A: Fall.

If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.

Child

A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”

The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."

Orphan

Why can’t orphans get in trouble?

Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.

Onion

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

Father

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

Mama

Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!

Wife

Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.

Friend: Like what?

Me: My name, my address, my phone number...

Funeral

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Orphanage

I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?

I love working at an orphanage.

Orphan

What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?

Motherboard.

Orphan

I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.

Orphan

Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

Similarity

What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?

They both went down on my dad.