Family jokes

If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."

Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.

It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.

How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?

His dick tastes funny...

There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.

At least Stephen Hawking does something.

How do men like their women? Striped.

How does a priest like their children? Clean.

Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You slept with my cousin but I did too.

Last time I ate a vegetable, I got banned from my sister's group home.

Why can’t orphans use computers?

Because they don’t have a homepage.

Fancy playing rodeo sex?

"OK then," she said!

Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!

I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and saw a baby pig and told her, "Look, it's Pepa Pig!"

She started crying.

I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!

Why do orphans play GTA5 so much?

So they could be wanted.

Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.

I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.

My son said he burnt food on accident, so I told him he was an accident.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They can’t find home.

Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.

Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!

Orphan: *sits there sadly*

Why can’t you give an orphan homework?

Because they don’t have a home to do it in.

I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.