Family jokes
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
My grandpa was in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
The difference between an apple and an orphan is that the apple gets picked.
When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.
That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Orphans don't like "Family Feud."
What do you call an orphan who became a priest?
Father-less.
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mother!
Mother who?
It's your mother.
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Why was an orphan loving school?
Because the people actually came back.
What did Lucy say when she saw her sonogram?
"Looks like a rerun."
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.