Family jokes
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.
Hollow Knight Meme
Why can't orphans walk through doors?
Because they don't have a house to walk into.
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?
The ant knows where home is.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.