Family jokes
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Why can't orphans hit a home run?
Because they don't have a home to run to...
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So they had someone to call Father.
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
What do you call an orphanage?
A parent-less shelter/homeless shelter.
Why do orphans play GTA?
'Cause they're actually wanted.
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.
A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why do orphans play GTA? Because they can’t be wanted.
Why did the orphan become a str1pper?
So she can have someone to call daddy.
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."
Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"