Family jokes
One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."
And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They come back.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One's actually picked.
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"