Family jokes

Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.

Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.

What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?

“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”

I see you.

Yo mama so FAT...

That when she had sex with you...

Your balls turned to pancakes.

Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?

Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.

Dad: She had to take the deep penis.

Son: Umm...... WHAT!?

Dad: I had to inject her with and EPIC PENIS.

Dad: Oh, for God's sakes.

Dad: Epi Pen.

Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.

What type of cake can orphans not have?

Homemade.

Are all orphans home-a-phobic?

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My father didn’t beat cancer.

As a son, I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute, and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot.

I came home the next day. I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask what's going on. My mom said to me, "Meet your new daddy," then my friend said, "Hey son, get me a beer from the fridge."

You can't give an orphan homework.

Cousin: Hey, is that an octopus?

Me: Yes, what, it is just an octopus.

Cousin: Oh yeah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Octopus touch me!

Me: What, it is just one..... ummmmm dad cousin d[id].

My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.

I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.

Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"

Yo mama is so ugly she's really the reason phone screens cracked!

My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he could call someone Father.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because it can't find home!

Why do orphans not have parents?

Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.

What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?