Family jokes
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
Why do orphans play GTA so much?
Because they can be wanted for once.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find a home.
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
What's an orphan's favorite game?
"Who's your daddy?"
(Go look up the game)
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."
And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.