What cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade
your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated
Me: "My grandpa killed 100 nazis."
My friend: "Well, my grandpa killed Hitler."
37. After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting... "Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!" Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time".
38. An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, "The soup is cold." His astonished mother exclaimed, "Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?" The boy looked at her and replied, "Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."
39. A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer, "How long will it take me to get to the next town?" The farmer didn't answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again. After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out "About 20 minutes!" "Thank you. But why didn't you tell me that when I asked you?" "Didn't know how fast you could walk".
40. A Husband and Wife at Custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex wife. Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?" Ex wife: "I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him." Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason." Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband. Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?" The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?"
what do a blind person and a orphan have in comen= they both can not see there family
I heard there was a kidnapping
Don't worry he woke up
In the back of a van
It was his father's
Friend who was a priest
He was just bringing him to church
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad stall hasn't came back with that God damn milk
What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?
They’re both alone but only one is home.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat the thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
you’re so fat
that ur family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see u
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!”, so I started doing the same to them at funerals.
why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions
my bad but you stink so bad you past by a trashcan and it yes wow! i didnt know i had family!
pregnant teen: im pregnant my mums gonna kill me. Unborn baby: my mums gonna kill me
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No.1 pencils? 🤔
My entire family “TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!” Me “OH NO” 💀
You are so adopted that that you don't have a home button on google maps.
so i was on the phone with a scam caller, he said he knew where i lived and would kill my children and wife jokes on him i already did.
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
Why did the orphan like to jump. So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with there parents. 1 like=10 more orphans in my basment
