What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
Family Jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.
My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.
How did Steven Hawking die?
His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Lol, mum's gay.
What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?
cancer.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
One day a boy asks his grandfather for some money, and the grandpa says, “Well, can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy replied, “No.” So the grandpa says, “Okay,” and leaves it at that and walks off.
A few years later, the boy asks his grandfather for some money again, and his grandfather once again asks, “Can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy proudly says, “Yes, it can.” To which the grandpa says, “Good, now go fuck yourself.”
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
There's a sexy milf that lives next door. The only thing better is her 8 Y/O.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
My nan's gayyyyyy.
Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
Come on guys, this is nasty, he was my uncle, ffs :(
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
Your mum gay, lol.
My mum.
What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a car in my garage.
