Family jokes
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse?
Your mum gay. LOL. Funny me!
The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.
When you send nudes to your Roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone...
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.
Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"
Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"
Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."
Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".
He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"
Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
Son: Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!
Mom: YOU HAVE CANCER?!
Son: Mom, as my zodiac symbol...
Mom:....
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
One day Johnae said, "What do you call a family outing?"
"Incest."
Low key Johnae fucks Kirby and Peach.
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a homepage.
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
Louie's parents tried this.
Oliver Savage and Dr. Mummy.