Family jokes
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?
A: Because they don't have any parents.
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.
My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.
What do you say to someone's mom?
"You mom gay."
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
My grandad killed Hitler. He was such a great man!