Family jokes
My mom
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
I didn't put my kids up for adoption.
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.
"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."
"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.
Grandma pointed to the campfire.
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.
What do you call a grown-up orphan? Homeless.
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?
A: Because they don't have any parents.
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.
My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.
What do you say to someone's mom?
"You mom gay."
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.