Family

Family jokes

Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."

Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"

Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."

Why do orphans go to church?

It’s the only place they can call someone “father.”

Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.

(Also, I banged ya mum ;))

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  • I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.

    "I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"

    If you read this, you fucked your dad and your 4-year-old sister, you sick fuck... At least wait till they are 15.

    An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.

  • 2
  • A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"

    Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.

    Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?

    Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥

    Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.

    Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*

    Daddy:...

    Timmy: Well come on diddy!

    Daddy: Well shit lets go son!

    Both: YEE YEE

    SWEET HOME ALABAMA

    Kid: Hey, Dad.

    Dad: You're an hour late.

    Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

    Dad: By yourself?

    Kid: No.

    Dad: A boy?

    Kid: I was with the teacher.

    Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

    *The next day*

    Uncle: F*CK!