Family jokes
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!
Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?
Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.
One night, a girl said to her family, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa." The next morning, her grandpa died. That night, she said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodbye Grandma." The next morning, the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night, the girl said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy." The next morning, the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine, but when he went into the kitchen, he saw his wife crying. When he asked her what's wrong, she said, "The mailman died."
Why do orphans go to church?
Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.
Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find his family. Sorry!
Ur dad is mad.
Why do orphans go to church? Because they can finally call someone "father."
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...