I impaled my son with a pitchfork...
He looks very sharp.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.
Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.
He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."
A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.
Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
Your mom gay.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
I'm serious, what's a "dad?"
What is a "dad?"
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.
A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.
Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"
Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
