Family jokes
What's an orphan's favorite game?
GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.
Why can’t orphans go on “go big or go home?”
Cuz they’d always have to go big as they have no home.
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.
Why do orphans hate cricket?
Because they can't get a "homerun."
I created a website for orphans, but there was no homepage.
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t get to home run!
I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
Why do orphans play GTA? So they can be wanted.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.