Family jokes

Dad: You're adopted.

Son: Where are my real parents?

Dad: >:D They are dead, now come to their grave and sleep there.

Yesterday, I tickled my granddaughter's feet.

She is being born in 2 months.

I was looking forward to reading the short jokes to see if I could find my uncle.

Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."

Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."

Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."

Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"

Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"

Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."

Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."

Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."

Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"

Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."

Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦

I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?

What does "bitch" mean?

Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"

My grandad broke his legs.

To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.

I told my mother I wanted a brother for Christmas. The next day, I saw her in the strip club across the street.

Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.

Why can’t orphans live?

They don’t have parents.

My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.

So I threw an orange at her.

Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.

Student: OOFT.

Teacher: Who are we missing?

Student: Your parents.

Best part about being an orphan?

Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"

I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.

Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.

'Cause they sell oden, not a family.

Your mum isn't home.

Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.

Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"

I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂