Family jokes
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.
Why do orphans hate cricket?
Because they can't get a "homerun."
I created a website for orphans, but there was no homepage.
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t get to home run!
I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
Why do orphans play GTA? So they can be wanted.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.
I didn’t orphan never say home.
Because they didn’t have one.
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
My Dad went for some milk. He never came back :)
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
Little Johnny asks a fireman, "Do you want to see my fire truck?"
So the fireman goes to look at it. Little Johnny tested it. "I got my hat in my fire truck."
So the fireman says, "Last night's alright, but why is it tied up to you wagging?" And he looks closer and sees the string is tied up in knots. He said, "That's nice all right, but why is it tied up to his nuts?"
The little Johnny said, "Well that's my son," and so he yanks on it.