Family jokes
Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!
Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
What’s the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's parents?
One of the two actually came back.😂
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?
They don't know where home plate is.
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.
Kid: Why, Dad?
Dad: So you don't get bored.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
Some kid with parents: "Knock, knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
Some kid with parents: "Not your parents."
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.