Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
Family Jokes
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad. Oh.... Wait... Continue.
My brother caught Covid last month.
First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"
I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
What do you call your mom?
Basement bound.
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?
Because "family is everything!"
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
What is an orphan's first phone?
An iPhone 12. Wanna know why?
It has no home button :D
Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.
