Family jokes
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his parents.
Oasis, am I right?
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call them "daddy."
What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
One has a home.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Why do orphans always get an iPhone X?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Why is my dad gone?
I don't know.
What can’t orphans do in baseball? Go to home.
I made a website about orphans.
But I can’t make a home page.
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
Why can’t orphans go on a field trip?
Parent signature __________
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pokemon?
People choose Pokemon.
Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.
You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.