New Family Jokes - Page 207 - Worst Jokes Ever

Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?

So that they can be wanted.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good, he died to a landmine.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

Mommy sits on my potty and sings a song about poop.

Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.

Mommy kisses my butt.

You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.

Because it’s empty inside.

What's an orphan's most hated show?

The Fosters.

What's the food orphans can't eat?

Family-sized ice cream.

Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.

Guess why orphans can't play baseball? Because they don't know what home is.

I got my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful cunt sat in his wheelchair all day.

So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.

Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"

Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.

A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."