Family jokes
Why do orphans play baseball?
So they can touch home.
Why do orphans always ask Alexa to order milk?
Because their dad never brought it home.
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.
She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."
The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.
Why do orphans love to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
Why can't orphans suck dick?
Because they don't have a stepbro.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because there is no home plate.
Why can’t orphans have milk?
Because their dad never came back.
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
Die you potato.
I baked you a pie.
Oh boy, which flavor?
Pie Pie Pie Pie.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Why did you name this way?
Why Why Why?
When an orphan takes a picture, it’s a family portrait.
Why do orphans love GTA?
Because they are actually wanted!
The "f" in "orphan" means family, even though there's no "f."
What do you call a kid that lives alone?
An orphan. ;)
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.