Family jokes
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Family feud after finding out about Alabama.
Ur adopted.
My sister is so short she can't walk.
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
If an orphan was Spiderman, which movie would he be in?
"No Way Home."
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"
What's brown and sticky?
An orphan.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
Sike, I lied, your mom is a guy!
Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.