Family jokes
What's brown and sticky?
An orphan.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
Sike, I lied, your mom is a guy!
Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang.
"Ur Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry, but you're not.
His name is "Daddy!" HELP!
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
What did the parents say to the orphans?
"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Because they don't have a parent's signature.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Where's your mom?
In the bin.