New Family Jokes - Page 183 - Worst Jokes Ever

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap till their parents come home.

A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."

The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."

"Thanks Dad," the son says.

The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."

Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!

The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?

Someone: Ugly?

Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.

What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"

Why did the Dad cross the road?

To get the milk.

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.

Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.

We should stop.

Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?

The boomerang!

Yo momma's so gay, you sucked her balls.

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.