Family jokes
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
How are orphans like Spider-Man?
No way home.
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
Q: Why don’t orphans have a personality?
A: They don’t have a person in reality!
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Yo mama!
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."😳