Family jokes
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
Why do orphans live in an orphanage?
Answer: Because they are wanted there.
"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."
And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.
I love working at an orphanage.
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
Yo mama is so fat, she can’t even fit in the suitcase.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy/mommy."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
What is stronger than family?
The tree Paul Walker hit.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?
'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...