Family jokes
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?
'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...
Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
Why do orphans go on holiday?
To see what family is like.
One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.
Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
Why did the Asian parents have an Asian baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Family feud after finding out about Alabama.
Ur adopted.
My sister is so short she can't walk.
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
If an orphan was Spiderman, which movie would he be in?
"No Way Home."
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"