Family jokes
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.
Roses are red, violets are violet,
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot!
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home run.
The F in orphans stands for family...
Why are orphans gay? To call someone "daddy."
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."
I found your parent!
Why can’t orphans eat breakfast? Because there is no parent to feed them.
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who’s there?
Kid: Not your parents.
Top five places to find your dad's orphans is Milk Island.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? There is no home plate.