Family jokes
My brother: What are you looking at?
Me: A mistake.
Why did the orphan misbehave in school?
Because the principal couldn't call their parents.
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home base is.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
A baseball player has a home to run to.
What does water see in orphans that they don't? Their parents.
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
Why can't orphans score in baseball?
They can't find home.
What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?
"Full House".
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.
(Later)
"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"